New Years Weeken
So I've recovered from my brothers 4th Wedding. Or as I put it, his 4th "Pre-Divorce Party".
The Pre-Divorce Party. Ya'll it was just like watching a movie or something. I can't believe my brother came from my family. First you have to know that my brother has two groups of friends he hangs with: his professional friends (other business owners) and his Sturges (the motorcycle freaks). So to start off it was an eclectic mix. 'Cuz you throw in Mom and all her uptight southern baptist girlfriends, too.
The first thing I walked in I was ushered to my seat by a guy in a motorcycle jacket (!) who was bald and had 2 foot beard (!!!) like ZZ Top. I couldn't make this stuff up. I couldn't feel more WASPY. Then there was my mother wearing black (!was this a protest?! She didn't want him to marry again) sitting next to her friends w/the pretty suits and church dresses and being so sweet and horrified all at once. THEN! The flowergirls come and I look and see that they are dropping money. MONEY!! Not flowers! OMG! What the hell is that about?!
THEN! The bridesmaids come down the isle and they have these pretty purple strapless dresses and as the first one passes me I notice she has a tattoo on her back. This made it official that it was not a normal wedding. Then the second and third bridesmaides came by alllllll with tattoos on their backs!! A winter tattoo parade! Weeeeehooooo! I started awarding prizes in my mind for the best wedding party tattoo and that last bridesmaid won! Right in themiddle of her back was a 12x12...are you ready for this?
A MARDI GRAS MASK!! That's right!! And this is the best part! She had parted her hair in the back so it looked like the mask had HAIR!! SO it was 3-D and all. I thought that maybe I might give her a bigger prize if she learned how to move her shoulder blades to make the tattoo talk for her. She could like back up to the bar and the tattoo could ask for a drink.
The Pre-Divorce Party. Ya'll it was just like watching a movie or something. I can't believe my brother came from my family. First you have to know that my brother has two groups of friends he hangs with: his professional friends (other business owners) and his Sturges (the motorcycle freaks). So to start off it was an eclectic mix. 'Cuz you throw in Mom and all her uptight southern baptist girlfriends, too.
The first thing I walked in I was ushered to my seat by a guy in a motorcycle jacket (!) who was bald and had 2 foot beard (!!!) like ZZ Top. I couldn't make this stuff up. I couldn't feel more WASPY. Then there was my mother wearing black (!was this a protest?! She didn't want him to marry again) sitting next to her friends w/the pretty suits and church dresses and being so sweet and horrified all at once. THEN! The flowergirls come and I look and see that they are dropping money. MONEY!! Not flowers! OMG! What the hell is that about?!
THEN! The bridesmaids come down the isle and they have these pretty purple strapless dresses and as the first one passes me I notice she has a tattoo on her back. This made it official that it was not a normal wedding. Then the second and third bridesmaides came by alllllll with tattoos on their backs!! A winter tattoo parade! Weeeeehooooo! I started awarding prizes in my mind for the best wedding party tattoo and that last bridesmaid won! Right in themiddle of her back was a 12x12...are you ready for this?
A MARDI GRAS MASK!! That's right!! And this is the best part! She had parted her hair in the back so it looked like the mask had HAIR!! SO it was 3-D and all. I thought that maybe I might give her a bigger prize if she learned how to move her shoulder blades to make the tattoo talk for her. She could like back up to the bar and the tattoo could ask for a drink.
posted by Dancing Through Suburbia at 3:09 PM
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