Stylin' Butt's!

Okay, I've had two red bull's this morning. Not b/c I envy Brittney Spear's lifestyle but because I have to do climb Laundry Moutain and I'm totally grossed out about it. Therefore I digress!

Okay, so my husband is having this mid-life crisis, right? And so he decided he wanted to start tanning. So he comes home looking like a tomato in August. His butt is severely burned and he is in pain. So I'm laughing at him and he's begging me to help. So I run in and get some aloe vera gel to cool off his hiney fire. A little while later he screams, "My butt is sticking to the sheets and it's on fire! What did you put on me??!!" He runs into the bathroom and grabs the greeen bottle and exclaims, "Are you trying to kill me? You just put hair gel on my butt!! It says on the label, 'For the expressive look! Mega hold styling gel'"!!! So now, not only does he have a rockin' tan, his butt is stylin' as well. Let's just hope it's not TOO expressive. lol!

THEN! Yesterday morning the Prevention for Blindness calls and me asks if I can set out a donation for them b/c their trucks will be in our area. I decide to donate this old dresser of my daughter's and set it outside in the driveway. I know the neighbors are thrilled when there is furniture in someones yard. ANYWAY, so I come home from getting the kids and there sits the dresser w/a note attached.

I swear to God this is true. And you should never swear to God, so you know this is the God's honest truth. lol The note says, "Cannot accept due to scratches and is in need of repair". PLEASE!!! It's too scratched for BLIND PEOPLE?!!!! I can't believe this!! Maybe I should tell them the scratches are little messages in braille. Then nerve!!

A New Day

There are hard seasons of life for Mom. These precious children emerge from your womb and the world is full of possiblities for them. They are brand new to this world. Marshall is my first child. He arrived with bright blue eyes and blond, curly hair. We called him our, "joy boy". And we loved on him and doted on him until it just didn't make sense. Then the grandparents took over and loved on him some more. The world was FULL of possibilities.

I ache for him today. And my friends pray for him. And us. I know it's not the end of the world to think that your child has Aspergers Syndrome. There are children w/cancer and missing limbs. What about all those Sally Struthers kids with flies on their faces? lol Oh my little baby, I wish I could fix it. Lord knows I have tried. Seriously.

But there is an end to what even a momma can fix. I cannot cure this. And that stinks. Then we have to bring in strangers who only see him for one appointment and we have to trust them to place a label on him that he will wear for life? God, that is hard for a Mom. Can't they at least get to know him, first?

This child deserves respect, this child deserves a world full of possibilities like the world he entered. Even if he does have aspergers. He deserves medicine that really really works for him. That opens the world like you open a gift. Full of possibilities and wonder. I have hope. But our lives have turned down a road w/no signs directing the right paths to turn. And it really sucks to be a control freak right now. lol

Aim High

Mama always taught me to aim high. As a little girl she would ask, "Okay, what do you want to do when you grow up"? I would awnser, "Sing on the Billy Graham show?" She would correct me by saying, "It's not a show! It's a crusade! You want to sing on the Billy Graham CRUSADE".

Unfortunately, I strayed from my Southern Baptist upbringing. But I feel this weekend I reached I have reached my personal best.

That's right. I entered the national RPS competition. That's Rock Paper Scissors for those of you not in "the know". Budweiser is sponsoring RPS competitions at area bars here in town throughout the year. The winner of the competition gets to compete for $50, 000 in Las Vegas. Money that could be donated to Billy for bibles sent to Russia OR playing black jack on the strip.

Link of the Day

Okay, do you ever just want to get back at those "perfect Mom's" that you see at school or work? Check out this link...
http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/stfu.php

LIttle Girls Like Butterflies

Okay, so if you get grossed out easily-you might wanna skip this. So yesterday my 5 year old daughter and I were in her room talking about the butterfly painted on her wall. And she said in her high-pitched, cutesy way....

"Mommy? Know what I like to do sometimes if I've got poo-poo all over my bottom cheeks?".

I shook my head, "What sweetie?"

"Well I like to back up to that mirror and bend over and look between my legs at my bottom".

I'm stiffling laughter and I say, "Ohhhhh, like a REAR-view mirror".

"Yeah, and you know? It kinda looks like a butterfly! And so I go, 'Hi Mr. Butterfly!' like that. And then I take the wipee and clean one side and then it looks like the butterfly only has one wing? And I go, 'Oh! Mr. Butterfly you only have one wing'. And then I take a'nother wipee and I wipe off the other side and I go, 'Bye Mr. Butterfly'".

I guarandamntee ya that girl's gifted.

Link of the Day

I'm going to start a "link of the day". Today's is paperdoll heaven. If you do it-you MUST do Elvis!
http://www.paperdollheaven.com/

This link is courtesy of the handsome Davezilla. http://www.davezilla.com/

Redneckism

Okay, my favorite new thing is Redneckisms! Here is one a friend shared with me yesterday:

"That boy'd rather climb a tree and tell a lie then to stand on the ground and tell the truth!!"

Send me your own redneckisms and I'll include them in my blog!

HAIR! SO THERE!!

Okay. So my Mamala gave me this book called, "How to Get your Groove Back". It's all about how to remember what the hell you were doing before you gave birth to those cute little midgets. I have no clue where to begin finding myself again. So I figgered to start w/"The Hairs". I'm just going w/chapter one in the book here, so let's follow along, shall we?

Well, I booked an appointment at this WOOHOO salon all the girls with good hair go to. It's called Marilyn Ihloff. I walk in the door and it smells like I've been transported into a rain-freaking-forest. Aveda everywhere! Mint-endangered species friendly hand soap in the bathroom and all.

Shoot! Boston Legal is on and my handsome hunk of burning love is callin'.

Be back tomorrow to finish!!