Link of the Day

Okay, do you ever just want to get back at those "perfect Mom's" that you see at school or work? Check out this link...
http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/stfu.php

LIttle Girls Like Butterflies

Okay, so if you get grossed out easily-you might wanna skip this. So yesterday my 5 year old daughter and I were in her room talking about the butterfly painted on her wall. And she said in her high-pitched, cutesy way....

"Mommy? Know what I like to do sometimes if I've got poo-poo all over my bottom cheeks?".

I shook my head, "What sweetie?"

"Well I like to back up to that mirror and bend over and look between my legs at my bottom".

I'm stiffling laughter and I say, "Ohhhhh, like a REAR-view mirror".

"Yeah, and you know? It kinda looks like a butterfly! And so I go, 'Hi Mr. Butterfly!' like that. And then I take the wipee and clean one side and then it looks like the butterfly only has one wing? And I go, 'Oh! Mr. Butterfly you only have one wing'. And then I take a'nother wipee and I wipe off the other side and I go, 'Bye Mr. Butterfly'".

I guarandamntee ya that girl's gifted.

Link of the Day

I'm going to start a "link of the day". Today's is paperdoll heaven. If you do it-you MUST do Elvis!
http://www.paperdollheaven.com/

This link is courtesy of the handsome Davezilla. http://www.davezilla.com/

Redneckism

Okay, my favorite new thing is Redneckisms! Here is one a friend shared with me yesterday:

"That boy'd rather climb a tree and tell a lie then to stand on the ground and tell the truth!!"

Send me your own redneckisms and I'll include them in my blog!

HAIR! SO THERE!!

Okay. So my Mamala gave me this book called, "How to Get your Groove Back". It's all about how to remember what the hell you were doing before you gave birth to those cute little midgets. I have no clue where to begin finding myself again. So I figgered to start w/"The Hairs". I'm just going w/chapter one in the book here, so let's follow along, shall we?

Well, I booked an appointment at this WOOHOO salon all the girls with good hair go to. It's called Marilyn Ihloff. I walk in the door and it smells like I've been transported into a rain-freaking-forest. Aveda everywhere! Mint-endangered species friendly hand soap in the bathroom and all.

Shoot! Boston Legal is on and my handsome hunk of burning love is callin'.

Be back tomorrow to finish!!

A conversation with a 5 year old

"Laurel. What are we going to do with your old bike since you have this new one?"

"Mom, I want to give it to the pear people."

"The Pear People?"

"Yes. You know the Pear People in the Salami."

I'm thinking. I'm thinking..."OH! You mean the POOR people in the Tsunami?"

"Yes. Daddy said some Pear People don't have bikes".

"This is true. There are alot of Pear People at my health club, too."

Only In My House

I posted a pic of me and the hunk of burnin' love. I'll probably edit it tomorrow. Notice how I've got those eyes that say, "I'm not going to blink I'm not going to blink." Don't you think my eyeballs look like that Jennifer Willbanks runaway-bride?



We seem like such a normal family. We live in a middle-class, culdesac neighborhood. We seem like the average, unassuming family. (dramatic turn) But NO! Inside those doors mysterious and unexplainable events take place each day. Take for example...

Our new cat George has taken to NURSING on our gold retriever. Does this happen in your house? I didn't think so! What is up with this family?


My daughters hamster has POTTY TRAINED HIMSELF! Whaddup wit dat?

I have pictures of both of these things and I can't get them to upload through "my pictures". Anyone know what the deal is?

New Years Weeken

So I've recovered from my brothers 4th Wedding. Or as I put it, his 4th "Pre-Divorce Party".

The Pre-Divorce Party. Ya'll it was just like watching a movie or something. I can't believe my brother came from my family. First you have to know that my brother has two groups of friends he hangs with: his professional friends (other business owners) and his Sturges (the motorcycle freaks). So to start off it was an eclectic mix. 'Cuz you throw in Mom and all her uptight southern baptist girlfriends, too.

The first thing I walked in I was ushered to my seat by a guy in a motorcycle jacket (!) who was bald and had 2 foot beard (!!!) like ZZ Top. I couldn't make this stuff up. I couldn't feel more WASPY. Then there was my mother wearing black (!was this a protest?! She didn't want him to marry again) sitting next to her friends w/the pretty suits and church dresses and being so sweet and horrified all at once. THEN! The flowergirls come and I look and see that they are dropping money. MONEY!! Not flowers! OMG! What the hell is that about?!

THEN! The bridesmaids come down the isle and they have these pretty purple strapless dresses and as the first one passes me I notice she has a tattoo on her back. This made it official that it was not a normal wedding. Then the second and third bridesmaides came by alllllll with tattoos on their backs!! A winter tattoo parade! Weeeeehooooo! I started awarding prizes in my mind for the best wedding party tattoo and that last bridesmaid won! Right in themiddle of her back was a 12x12...are you ready for this?

A MARDI GRAS MASK!! That's right!! And this is the best part! She had parted her hair in the back so it looked like the mask had HAIR!! SO it was 3-D and all. I thought that maybe I might give her a bigger prize if she learned how to move her shoulder blades to make the tattoo talk for her. She could like back up to the bar and the tattoo could ask for a drink.